Thursday, 26 May 2011

Man Entered For Crufts Declared Barking

Bob Pomeroy, who entered this year's Crufts as a wolfhound, has been declared barking mad under the 1864 Mad Dog Act.

Dorking Magistrates heard today how Pomeroy, a 56 year old supermarket manager from Leatherhead, entered Crufts as 7 year old wolfhound 'Beau Bob' in the Working Gundog section of this year's competition. 

"I immediately suspected Beau Bob was not a wolfhound", explained legendary 68 year old judge, Dora Cattermole.

"For a start, he didn't appear comfortable on all fours". 

"Then, when I asked his handler, Mr Mundy, why Beau Bob's tail had been removed, he simply told me I'd have to ask the dog".

"Finally, when I had my customary feel between Beau Bob's back legs, he got far more excited than any wolfhound I've come across in 30 years as a circuit judge".

Eye witnesses revealed it took six male judges to drag Beau Bob off Dora Cattermole and into a ringside cage.

"The dog had a paw up Dora's tartan skirt and was foaming at the mouth", declared ironmonger and poodle connoisseur Vernon Moult. 

Passing sentence, Chairman of the Bench Roy Figgis growled, "This tailless wolfhound, Beau Bob, is a disgrace to Crufts name and reputation".

Seconds later, muzzled Bob Pomeroy, wearing a smart two-piece suit and red tie, was led away for further training at Her Majesty's pleasure.

84 year old chihuahua, Vic Noblet from Kettering, won Best in Show.

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